So we went out for a few drinks last night at a quiet little dive bar. A slow night, just going to pop in for a few beers and leave. This completely lame-O looking guy is sitting across the bar ogling ME and giving ME strange googley soft-eyes like a girl. Seriously, he was blushing and batting his hillybilly eyes! he was so fricking fug! I mean, really! I am going to slam and reject GOOD-looking guys who hit on ME..but I can kinda understand an attractive man getting the balls up to hit on Me. he is going to be shot-down all the same, but I can kinda wrap My mind around why he thinks he can get away with it. But this fucker!? WTF? This doughy-faced, plumpish, shortish, redneckish loser actually sent the bartender over to ask for MY number. She goes, “My friend Joe wants to know if he can have your phone #.” Little fucker didn’t even offer drinks in exchange for a cruel brush-off! I am so amazed that this absolutely unattractive freak even has the audacity to dream such lofty dreams, to have such delusions of grandeur..that all I can first manage to get out of My mouth is “waaaaaah-WAAAAH-what!?!?!?!?” She points at him..he smiles sheepishly. Me and MY friends look bewildered at each other. Like I am truly DUMBFOUNDED! This little mini-sasquatch really thinks he has a chance in hell? We LAUGH!” I mean..WE LAUGH so fucking loud, My friend nearly spins off the red lounge chair She’s sitting on. I loudly say, “Are you kidding ME!?!? Are you FUCKING kidding ME?!?” Our laughter FILLS the room.and a few other single women join in with us hooting and laughing! The world’s tiniest sasquatch immediately left his “generous” dollar tip to the bartender and quickly exited the bar. Jeeeezus fucking christ!
Update: Did I say weak loser sent $350? I meant $750! 🙂 his total keeps creeping up
Business as normal, bitchboys. Time to SHOP. Should be in most of the weekend. I have a huge landscaping project taking place and will be here overseeing the work! So I will be at home and able to screw with your minds and fuck with your wallets!
$300 came yesterday in the mail from fagarina. I LOVE crispy $100 bills! weak loser just sent $350 a second ago. I think today is wimpdick’s payday! yahoo!
