Hi minions! Long time no update! Life is so different here. I spend much more time exploring the great outdoors than I do interacting with perverts. I’ll be heading back to Ohio for a month or two to tie up loose ends, do MY taxes and take care of some other responsibilities. We will move the rest of Our stuff and the pets up here probably in summer and drive My truck across the country. I can’t wait until We are all settled here in Our Mountain Paradise! All My good boys are embracing My New Life of Leisure. Well, there is more physical labor and planning involved living here..but My man-slave will be here soon to help with that. Right now I’m feeling quite bad ass learning to be more self sufficient. I love that My favorite boys are financially supporting all MY dreams and phases of Life!
slave alaska was so inspired by My most recent selfie that he just sent $1,000! My smile and happiness should inspire all you lowly males to reach deep in your wallets and GIVE GIVE GIVE!
mister peepers is a sly, skittish old fart who disappears for long stretches of time. he has sent close to $2,000 so far! I’ll wring his last dollar from him.
mystery pig! you are getting on MY nerves. you a very late with the last 2 payments! FIX it!! I don’t care what personal sacrifices you have to make in your own life! PAYING ME is your number one priority!! Remember this, mystery pig. you are shit. you are dung. you are NOTHING when you aren’t pleasing ME. Right now, I want to tear you apart. Drain every dollar in your account until your anxiety levels are sky rocketing!!
rat bastard continues to do thousands of dollars of shopping and tributing! he has filled My new home with all kinds of great stuff! he spent thousands last week! $1100 cash, thousands of dollars and shopping and gift cards. Our constant shopping sprees are thrilling! Let’s keep spending your money together forever and ever and ever!!
So rat bastard was hiding from ME! I sent him a bunch of nasty grams demanding he shop for ME and he ignored them. But today the fucking little rat turd finally caved! Stupid little man! I’m all ready for round 2!! I’ll be fluffing MY wishlist JUST for you, asshole!! I think you need to sacrifice even more to make up for your piss poor behavior!
Here’s the tally for today. Since I don’t have MY “secret wishlist” available for the drooling masses to view, I’ll list everything he got here. Only a handful of guys are allowed to shop the “secret” wishlist.
$300 Lowes Gift card
$140 Teak shower bench
$50 garment rack
Snow roof rake
$160 Keurig machine
big box toilet paper
$50 foot stool
$80 Osprey Daypack
Billows for fireplace
$150 Amazon gift card tins
Swiffer wetjet refills
$110 Face Cream
$100 Sephora gift card
$180 Pendleton throw
$100 air purifier
$35 boot gaiters
$100 Eddie Bauer
$264 Garmin for hiking and backpacking
$26 baking gloves
$240 Helly Hansen purple jacket
$80 under armour top
$90 Wifi Blueray player
$50 winter work gloves
mystery pig! Yes you sent thousands of dollars this month…but I still demand more! you missed your Pay Me Day on Friday, you miserable freak! I do not want to reset MY mystery pig iphone alerts! Chop chop, boy! your money is MINE!
Get Me this vest in black too! Patagonia Nano Puff Vest
Camo Jacket size Tall XL
Zip Fleece Vicuna
Deer Henley size L
**Patagonia Down Jacket XL in Buffalo Green** WANT!
Patagonia Nano Puff in Navy
So this weeks highlights have been the surprise $500 from mystery pig! I’ll be investing your cash into wood floors, ya wee piggy pervert! Yes mystery pig, next Friday is your Official Pay Princess Day! Don’t think for a second that your generous bonus cash is going to get you off the hook for your bi-weekly wallet raping!! Double MY fun with double your funds, minion! Gawd, taking your cash month after month is SO MUCH FUCKING FUN!!
Oh then I got ANOTHER slave from alaska who has a thing for MY butchy winter wear! Hell yes! Get a pay-boner for MY beanies and thermal underwear, boys! HAHAHA! So I named him flaming baked alaska and he sent $600 for his first tribute. This made slave alaska totally jealous so he sent $500 in hopes of remaining MY favorite alaskan slave. Yippy for ME!
UPDATE: The day after I posted this entry mystery pig coughed up $2,000! MUAHAHAHA!
FUCK you! FUCK you RIGHT IN THE WALLET you horny, craptastic little sow!
mystery pig! you lowly filthy lump of pig meat! you stinking blob of living, breathing excrement! you have not made ME smile for WEEKS! I DEMAND MY CASH NOW!
Every day! Please Me! Serve Me! Obey Me!
Camo Jacket size Tall XL
Zip Fleece Tall XL in Vicuna
Deer Henley size L
Patagonia Down Jacket XL in Buffalo Green