Category Archives: Uncategorized

$1,000 from old guy george

$1,000 from old guy george

george sent another $1,000 today! Funness!  $300 from pedro and $500 from latex lover.  I sent hairlip a SMS today saying I found 3 more hair product items I wanted. I had them 5minutes later.  $125 amazon GC from weak loser,  and a guy named fred bought a few items off MY amazon wishlist. I talk to Eenie Peenie on the phone today (fagarina’s undersized penis). he and I planned a secret attack on fagarina.  Eenie Peenie and I will join forces and take fagarina by surprise and fleece him of a few more hundred dollars!  Eenie Peenie loves to help Me manipulate faggy.  I’ve been fancying the idea of  having vaseline freak and fagarina meet to make a video.  I was thinking about making each of them draw big kissable lips around each others bung hole in lipstick, then they can take turns making out with each other’s sissy booty holes.  Romantic, eh?  Yah, bitches.   you can toss each other’s salad!

 oliver..I saw you sneak online.  Weakening..trying to fight it..FAILING.  Ring ring Me tomorrow.  It’s time for you to cave in yet another time!

Ok.Im totally tired. Heading to bed.

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Taxes Done

Taxes Done

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Update 4.14.09
Money shot!  Another $800 arrived today from $$$pig.  I like $$$pig so far. he’s totally low maintence and keeps sending Me lots of crispies in the mail!!  Keep earning ME that cash, you lowly old sow!  I love your cash care packages!  $300 from.ummm I forget and $200 from fagarina.

So sad having to give such a huge lump sum to uncle sam.  At least I’m done with My taxes.

Anyway, I have a new slave from ireland who sent $500 and bought Me a stationary bike.  I will be giving MY old one to My girlfriend. I will have to think of a new name that is fitting for My new irish minion.  $200 from wolfie, $100 from loopy for legs, and $600 from sharon.  $200 came in the mail from fagarina.  Oh loopy! you fucking still owe ME $400 .  your pathetic excuse of a donation actually offends ME!  I told you to FUCK off until it was paid..and paying only a small portion gets you JACK SHIT.  Princess fan you owe Me $400, too. STOP fucking messaging ME until the payment is sent in FULL!   REALLY, you obsessed freaks, when you can’t afford ME and I tell you to leave ME the fuck alone..GET THE FUCK away from ME and stay the fuck away!!  Paying Me partially and hounding ME, WILL NEVER get you ANYTHING you fucking want!!!  

fatty, don ‘t think I forgot about you.  I’ll be looking for a few items for you to get.  

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Hi boys!

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I’m waving buh-bye to the man you were and saying hell-O to the atm and minion you are now!

I got several new guys today.  First a guy from NewYork who I haven’t yet named.  he sent $300 and bought Me 3 of the Curl Junkie hair products I wanted.  Then $400 from another new piece of meat and  terrance coughed up $500, $400 from mrobot and $$$pig promised to send another $800 cash in the mail!  Hurray!!   Oh fagarina you better have that cash in the mail today!  $100 gift certificate from weak loser who can’t wait until payday so he can send ME more of his cash.

Has anyone noticed that all the financial dommes have suddenly gotten extra hootchie-esque lately?  It must be the economic times or something, I stumbled across some guy’s livejournal “friend’s” page and all of them are bouncing their  boobs on their journals, juggling their tatas on youtube or booty popping their  asses all over their LJ’s.  I mean TONS of them.  It was like moneydommes gone wild.   It’s a fucking tit epidemic!!  Boobie-Doms unite and put those things away!!   Oh well, I better keep up with the times!  you wanna see jugs, boys?  I’ll show you the biggest tatas in all the land.  Check Out tittyboy’s Bodacious Breastessessess.

vaseline freak added new super freaky photos.  We will be transferring it to his livejournal, but for now you can see it here, if you dare.

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Royally Fucking you Over!

Royally Fucking you Over!

  I received My Dyson Animal Ball vacuum today!  It’s awesome!  This thing is so cool how it moves around all slinky and bendy.  I am soooo glad I got this one and not the older Dyson animal model.  Ummm..freaks!  Nobody bought My world market GC’s!!! WTF!!??  I went to get the wine cabinet I wanted but it was on backorder. It will be here in 3 weeks. One of you lame fucks better send $500 to cover it..well, almost cover it.

Anywhoo..as usual I waited until the last minute to file taxes. I will be busy working on that this week.  It’s late, I’ll update more later, I’m just very pleased with the new vacuum!

wolfie, I am fucking you up royally!  Write a letter to the better bitches bureau and complain about how your rights are being infringed upon.  Nobody’s going to help you! Nobody cares!

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Unroyal fool never fails to entertain.

Unroyal fool never fails to entertain.

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4 boxes of hair products I have to trash because of MY new hair routine! Yeh, I’m still going on about hair. Dontcha love it? I have already thrown out 2 boxes of hair products–2 huge boxes that were filled to the top! The first 2 boxes were the ones I never/rarely used. These 2 boxes are the stuff I really liked.  Fuck! I am a hair product addict!! I know I said I was done with making you guys shop for product.but I change MY mind. I want to try some Curl Junkie stuff too. heehee!

Check out his newest poem. HAHAHAHA!

I USED TO HAVE DREAMS

I used to have hopes, I used to have dreams,
Until Princess Sierra ripped my life at the seams.

I wanted a girlfriend, I wanted true love,
But when I stood at the cliff edge Princess gave me a shove,
She scooped up my body, all bloody and broke,
Extracted my brain and gave it a poke.
She made me give money, far more that I should,
But it’s never enough and that’s understood.
She made me crave dick, an addict that’s me;
One is not enough, I need two, I need three.
Where did my dreams go, when She made me a whore?
She changed me forever, but still Her I adore.
I need so much cock to be inside my gob,
Then after I hate myself, just cry and sob.
But Princess will laugh at my tragic plight,
And to just make Her smile I’d suck them all night.
I don’t care if they’re big, tiny or gross,
I need to have dick, so give me a dose.
I don’t care if you’re stupid, ugly of fat,
I want every penis, to suck, and that’s that.
You might be retarded, a bastard, or sick,
The one thing I need is my lips around your dick.
Princess had made me, I’m her cash cow and tool,
When a fly is unzipped, I just start to drool.
So how can I love this Woman so cruel?
And live my sad life as an unroyal fool?
Because She is a Goddess, and I’m just a toy.
So take my money, Princess, and please please enjoy! 

I received $300 cash in the mail today from a new slave from spain, $200 from pedro, $300 from stupid wolfie, $100 from john f.  hey john you said you wanted to take ME shopping!!  Call ME back tomorrow for your shopping list. $500 from smalldick SD, $350 from twinkie and tons of hair goodies from hairlip.   Slow day!  Make a fucking donation, you slacking shit-stains!  louZer, where the fuck are you?  you owe Me $500 for crossing MY mind today. hahaha!

Ok I think I’m about done with MY hair product-athon.

A few last hair things.

32 oz of Kinky Curly Knot Today fulfilled by hairlip
Kinky Curly Spiral Spritz
Curls Gel-les-C

Update: Oh what the hell I lied. I read about more curl product I want to try!
Curl Junkie Aloe Fix
Curl Junkie Coco Curl Cream
Curl Junkie Hibiscus and Banana Conditioner
Donna Marie Coco Curl Butter
Karen’s Body Beautiful Shampoo Get the herbal in the vanilla latte
Karen’s Body Beautiful Conditioner Get the deep conditioner, in vanilla latte, in the 8oz

I think this will satisfy MY product obsession..for now.for now.  I really found some awesome new products.  I can’t believe how dreamy the Kinky Curly Custard is.  You people just don’t understand how awesome it is to find something that makes your hair clump in fat curls! Anywhoo!  Now I will be in a summer clothes shopping tirade!  I’ll be searching the web for cute warm weather stuff for you cockapoos to buy ME!

mrobot activate:  mrobot is being sent on a very important robot mission.  Highly unclassified and simple task suitable for a very retarded wanker-bot.  See if you can find Boots Curl Creme.  It’s only in the UK and it’s ridiculously cheap.  (Our equivalent to Suave) I think it can be found in drugstores across the UK.    It comes highly recommended on these curly hair boards and I bought a jug and I love it.  Send Me like 3 more so I have a few stockpiled.

oliver, I see you poking around. I will be home tomorrow.report to duty and have your $1,000 in hand.

Who bought ME that pink Sony Vaio laptop?? Do you know that damned thing’s hard-drive crashed in less than 6 months?!?!  I hardly used the thing. It was MY “bedside” computer..what I use when I’m too lazy to get out of bed.  I had no programs loaded on it besides yahoo, aim,  aol and internet/virus security programs.  It was pretty much used it to update MY journal, check MY email, message guys and log into MY merchant accounts.  I am soo going to stick with Toshiba notebook computers.  They always give me the least problems.  Anyway,  they sent Me a new hard-drive and all is well, but what the fuck..what a nuisance.  I also banned Dell notebooks a long time ago because their keyboards fall apart and all the letters rub off.  I have no problems with MY Sony and Dell desk tops, but toshibas have been MY favorite for laptops.

Tax time again.  If you haven’t received your tax refunds yet, you know who they belong to. ME!!  tittyboy had his direct deposited in MY account like he  does every year.  $1,136.

micky if you leave one more inappropriate comment in MY journal I will block webtv forever from My websites and you will have lost ME for the rest of your life.  Seriously, I think you are the only moron left who’s stalking MY site from a friggin webtv, I’d have no problems banning every webtv user, because there are so few of you.  I didn’t think they still made those things.  you are not worthy to experience ME on any level. Get the fuck away.

Ugh I’ve been sick with a cold lately. I’m hocking up loogies and My nose is all plugged up.  Don’t act like that doesn’t turn you on, bitches.  you’d all jump at the chance to eat MY mucous.  Can’t breath.  The later it gets, the more clogged My sinuses are getting.  Will update later.

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$1,200 from hairlip plus more goodies

$1,200 from hairlip plus more goodies

Poor little hairlip has been in a “state” since I posted My new pics.  For days he’s been asking about MY hair texture, how long it takes Me to rinse and all MY hair rituals.  Lucky for him, I love talking about MY hair.  he’s been staring at them for days and buying up all MY new hair products and sent Me $1,200 of online $$$ donations.  hairlip, you are soooo MINE forever!!

latex lover is in no better shape.  he lost $900 and took a day off work so he could stare at MY photo blown-up on his wide screen monitor for 6 hours straight.  he did too!  I had him on webcam all day.  I’d peek in a so often to make sure he was still kneeling in front of it, staring glassy eyed at My beautiful visage. hahahahaha!  you little freaks never fail to amuse!

stewey managed to fix the entire amazon.co.uk gift certificate debacle.  UK addicts: DO NOT EVER send ME gift certificates from amazon.co.uk!  Always go to the amazon.com site to do it.  stewey, I got your first $500 donation, but I thought you were going to send another for being such a screw up.  Back to My pictures with you, stewey!  I want you stiffyfied, petrified, stupified and ready to harvest! 

simon, that $500 still hasn’t cleared.  It better!!   Visit My shopping cart today and make another donation.  chilly balls, I’m sure you owe Me another $500 too you horny, slutty wank machine, you! hahaha  Oh yes, almost forgot..pedro the putrid pup from portugal who speaks the worse english ever, sent another $200 amazon GC’s. 

Umm.nobody got MY World Market gift certificates yet. Make sure you get the STORE ones.NOT the online ones.  I’ve had several europeans attempt to do it, but I guess it’s for US shoppers only.  So you fucking American spankettes are going to have to step up and buy it. What the fuck, bitches??  The brits blow you cheap Yank yankers out of the water.  Do you know how many of MY “main squeezes” are from england?  Represent, whores!!  Prove that American jerkwads are even more pathetic than UK jerkwads!  Hum the stars and stripes as your clicking the buy and pay buttons!  You are USA grade prime freak meat!   Get out those wallets and serve your country and your GODDESS well.   

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screwy stewy shopping slave

SHOPPING OPPORTUNITIES!  I want these things ASAP!

Hair Nectar  get the fanatic size in Pomegranate Guava  fulfilled by hairlip who obviously loves to buy Me hair product

$500 of gift cards from World Market.  I saw this wine cabinet I want and it’s not available online.  Someone get Me some gift cards so I can go it!

Another Hair Towelfulfilled by twinkie I keep reading good things about this one, so I want to try this one too.  It’s suppose to keep My curlies frizz free.  Go to place your order and get the white towel with the vinyl bag.

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO SCREWY STEWEY! I just received the $500 amazon.co.uk gift certificates you sent, but DID NOT claim them because amazon.co.uk gc’s are almost useless to Me.  I can pretty much only order cd’s and books from there.  See if you can cancel IMMEDIATELY and either send Me $500 cash or $500 AMAZON.com GC’s.  you will also be paying an exta big penalty for inconveniencing Me.    Oh stewy.you can’t resist spoiling Me after viewing My newest photos!  Those eyes, that hair, those lips!  you are FUCKED!  Email Me asap!  stewey managed to get a refund from amazon.co.uk and sent cold hard cash instead. 🙂

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Oh what the hell. Here’s another one!  paypig$$$ was so excited to see the picture of his cashola that he sent another $300 online tribute, twinkie sent $600, fatmac got stuck with some shopping and cheesedick the cheese king sent $400.  Oh screwy stewy, I’m going to see if I can exchange those outdoor lights you bought.  They were kinda too huge for the garage.  They are really MASSIVE lamps.  Anyway, I emailed them to find out if they can do straight exchanges or whether they will have to credit your account and reorder.  I’ll email you when I find out more.

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Unroyal fool your $1,000 just arrived!  your tragic little cartoons always make Me giggle.  Get to sucking.

 

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