moneyslaves, I’m hoooooooooooooooooooooooome!

Yep we are home safe and sound.  I get home and some drunk ass guy from Cleveland sent Me $2,500. he calls all super inebriated and says he’s been obsessed with MY site and he’s drunk and in town. I guess he was overwhelmed knowing that he was in the same town as Me and was major stupified.  I got the cash out of him and then poof he disappeared! hahaha  I’ll make screenshots later.

My feet are going back to normal.  It must be mostly water because I lost 4 lbs over night and am starting to feel better.  O M Geeeeeee!  We are SO totally going back next year!!  We loved loved loved this place and had so much fun with the group of women who stayed in our bed and breakfast. We’ve all pinky sworn that we would come back and do it again next summer.  I’ve had a lot of good vacations but this was probably one of My favorite because of the hysterical group of new friends we met.  We laughed our asses off the entire time. Good times!

 Someone buy Me the black island wedges right now! These shoes are so incredibly comfortable!  Somebody bought these and I’m in love with them because they are like walking on clouds.

Ooh it’s starting to get scarier.  The island totally emptied out and they are nailing all the stores and bars shut and we are scheduled to evacuate tomorrow.  Some people can’t get tickets out!  Holy fuck.  The hurricane is coming!

Omg something is wrong with Me.  I am sooo bloated. My feet are going to explode.  I can’t fit in any of My shorts. I’m going to pop some water pills tonight and when I get back home.I’m going to pop all of you! I am retaining so much water.  My ankles, feet and gut look like My Tia Maria’s!  I’ve had so much fun but I am ready to come home and take a decent dump!  Oh that’s fucking gross, isn’t it?  Yeh whatever, bitches. Suck it up.  I’m drinking a planters punch in case you all didn’t notice.

When we get back we are both going to start some new aerobic and circuit training classes.My girlfriend is even going to go to the gym this time.  That’s a first for her skinny ass.   We are starting hardcore tuesday.  I found a place that does step aerobics. Yeh! I miss Me some step aerobics.  Nobody offers it any more. It’s always yoga and zumba.  Whatever. I want 80’s step aerobics!  I wanna grapevine to the Bangles and Huey Lewis. heehee   So I’ll be back to fixating on fitness and diet for a few months.but you know how that goes. Pass the peanuts!

Woot woot!  Go make a donation, asshole!  When I get home, I’ll be booking My next vacation!

simon answer My email asap! stewart I saw your tiny little donation. That is some tragic shit!

ALERT: Sad day on the farm.  Vacation is going to be shorter than planned. 🙁  We have to leave sunday because they are evacuating all the tourists.  BoooHoooo!  Oh well.  Guess I’ll just have to party it up tonight and tomorrow. 

Holy Fuck!  We are having an incredible fucking time.  So far the weather has rocked every day.  Womens Week kinda sucks though because all the lesbians got scared of the weather and didn’t show, so there are only a few hundred lesbians here.  I was really picturing the place swarming with women but it’s really not that way.  I’ve been partying up with breeders every night and I’m too drunk most of the time to care.   We are talking some serious Princess Gone Wild.  Last night I signed two straight girls tits because they were told I was a famous women’s wrestler and wanted My autograph.   I didn’t have the heart to tell them the truth and besides they had great boobs.  Somewhere in the Keys, 2 girls have Princess Sierra scrawled across their boobies.   Anyway, I’m really loving Key West.  It’s really a relaxed atmosphere, it’s very gay friendly, you can walk around the streets drinking and every one seems to be around our age.  Holy hell, My feet are INSANELY swollen. Why the fuck does this happen every time I go on vacation?  Actually I think this is the worse I’ve seen them ever.  My feet and ankles look sprained they are so swollen up.  It really pisses Me off because it makes My legs look bad when My ankles are all swelled up like balloons and My gorgeous legs are so tanned right now and I have some sexy sandals to show off.  Anybody know anything I can do quickly to reduce it?

 Meet My future wife. 

 I don’t know Her name.  She’s some straight girl from the burlesque thingie they had going on last night. I obviously thought she was super cute because I have like 40 pics of her on My cell phone. haha

OH and do you know what ELSE???  I checked My email to find $5,000 from simon!!!!!!!!!!!!  Out of the blue, impromptu $5000 all at one time!!! he was all drunk and desperate and sending cash to Princess all on his lonesome without My help! hahahahahahaha   I got paid $5,000 TO go on vacation and I get paid $5,000 WHILE I vacation!  SERIOUSLY I’m SOOOOOO awesome!!

I FUCKING LOVE IT, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kisses to My feet, biotches.  I’m off for vacation yet again, while you stay in your mundane life, toiling and working to earn more cash for your GODDESS.  Adieu, MY little adorers, MY worshipper, MY things, My toys, My property. 

Donate big and donate often while I am gone because I want another vacation come May!  Those of you with My cell phone can send Me fun little texts like this:  “Hi Princess, party on! i just sent you $500!”  “Greetings Princess, i hope the weather is fine in Florida. $1,000 is on it’s way.”  “Hello Most Adorable and Wonderful One, tribute has been sent. p.s. i suck in 5 languages.”

Well hopefully the weather won’t be too crappy.  I’ll probably check in a few times..but who knows.