Update: Nutjob..that’s not a poem I wrote.it’s the lyric of an old song.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH!
Grandpa Freakpie and E.T.

Grandpa Freakpie’s $1600 PLUS ALL his pertinent personal info. he included photo copies of his driver’s license, medical cards, ALL his credit cards, passwords to his banking accounts, email accounts, and extremely detailed financial budget.

hahah I so fucked the baboon outta another $400. he also bought Stevie a few items off Her wishlist.

Oh yeah! grandpa pornpie’s $1600 cash showed up by fedex! he says I have another $3,800 to shop with. I just have to decide what I want to spend it on! 🙂 I’ll post a photo of the fedex when I get home tonight.

sissy tommikins just sent $200 and bought MY trainer’s new Nike Shox and a new australian guy who sounds a bit “off” sent ME $150 AU.which I think comes out to be a bit over $100. (whoopie dingdong). Anyway, this guy says his mama gives him $100 a month to pay to see his shrink, which I think would be extra fun to take from him and make him skip his therapy. Well.I’m going to make it a pet project to get this guy institutionalized so I can brag about it in MY diary. Princess sends student to the loony bin! Sounds fun, huh? We will see how that goes. If he works out his new slave name will be nut job.

They’re coming to take you away, HA HA
They’re coming to take you away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And you’ll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they’re coming to take you away, Ha-haaa!

I thought it was a joke
And so I laughed
I laughed when you had said
That losing me would make you flip your lid
Right. . .

You know I laughed, you heard ME laugh
I laughed, I laughed and laughed
And then I left
But now I know you’re utterly mad!
And. . .

They’re coming to take you away, HA HA
They’re coming to take you away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the happy home
With trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they’re coming to take you away, Ha-haaa!

I took your cash
I spent it all.
And this is how I pay you back
For all your kind, unselfish loving deeds?!!
HAh!. . .

They’re coming to take you away, HA HA
They’re coming to take you away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And you’ll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they’re coming to take yiu away, Ha-haaa!

Update: The $300 didn’t come from a female. It was a dude using a woman’s card.

Wow.grandpa freakpie really is old. he never stops talking about old people stuff. I started snoring in his ear. he actually told ME what a great seamstress his mother was last night..and actually thought I cared. OMG I don’t know if I have the patience to financially milk Mister Magoo. he only has a $25,000 life insurancy policy. BUMMER! he doesn’t work and doesn’t make a lot of money. I thinking I’m going to make him be a walmart greeter. hehehe Besides Walmart and Micky D’s does anyplace actually hire 80 year old people??

Just got $300 with a female’s name in the billing? Is this a Woman who sent this tribute or one of you dweebs using your wife’s card? Let Me know. I’m curious.

Where the fuck is that leather dress??? Grr.I need to write the company and see what’s the hold up. grr

Here’s a little assignment for one of you hair addicts. I want a back up hair dryer. I can’t find the one I have and love anywhere online, so someone is going to have to go to Sally’s beauty and get it for Me and ship it. I think it runs somewhere around $100 but I’m not completely positive.
Get MY hairdryer

update: $300 from jimmy jizm hand.

Hey everybody! I just got done talking to My newest slave raymond on the phone. he sounds like 100 years old but says he’s just 80. This old fart just bought Me $2,500 gift cards from Brookstone for My massage chair. he liked when I called him freakpie.but since he’s like OLD.I’m gonna call him grandpa freakpie. hahaha, really..his voice is soo totally amusing.it is all warbly. he says he has been reading MY page for the last 17 hours. hahaha So anyway, grandpa freakpie is the newest member of the minion family. he promises to fedex ME $1,600 in a few days too. I’m so happy to get this Imedic chair and not the cheaper I-joy one I had on MY wishlist. This expensive one totally feels like someone is massaging your neck..that I-joy one I was thinking about doesn’t really do the neck that well.

turdeater bought a few things today too off MY amazon wishlist. A lawn mower, coffee maker, and a Logitech universal remote.

I just took advantage of fagarina! Made him buy ME a smaller flat screen tv (26″) for My gym, another Sonicare toothbrush and a dvd player for the gym too. hahaha SUCKER! Oh and screwy louey also got that other Goddess of Flowers framed art I wanted. 🙂 Have a drink to celebrate, louey! Then come back and shop some more.

Going on vacation the second week of November. All Lesbian Vacation. Not a man in sight for 7 days and nights. Aaaaaaahhhh..pure friggin bliss! Wish it was 2 weeks instead of just one though. We are planning another big tropical vacation sometime in april or may. Many spending opportunities abound for you freaks in the future.

SHOP MY AMAZON WISHLIST

Congrats to My friend Michelle who got our $100 back from tow truck Charlie. She put so much pressure on him that he cracked like a boiled egg!.. A big fat furry boiled egg with a ZZtop beard and bad breath.

Ok.I was gone this weekend. Camping trip. Well not a real camping trip. Just a few gay girls in a tent, with a leaky blow up mattress, jello shots and smores. It was lots of fun. I just checked My email and discovered that some newbie boob sent $600. his name is raymond! Way to go raymond! How about another $500?? you KNOW you wanna give send more! Old man tim popped up outta no where and sent $700 while I was gone too! Oh yeah, screwy louie sent Me $200. Nice! The only thing better than making a boatload of money on the internet is making a boatload of money while your out with friends and not lifting a single finger or communicating with ya bunch of lackeys. Oh sissy tommikins!!! My trainer wants those shoes and you have been designated the shoe shopper. Get your faggoty ass in gear and get them!

That embed video seemed to slow My journal..so here’s the baboon and deryck hula special as a link.

Just got the mail and some nice gifts. Hey screwy louie that framed art FINALLY arrived. I think I wrote you an email bitching about how long it took. It arrived today. I love it! Come out, My little vermin, and buy Princess more gifts and send more chubby donations!

complete fool sent $400 to his Glorious Queens! How I love getting super crispy $100 bills in the mail. Oh and the Gucci perfume arrived today too.

I HEART MY orange roses!