Update:  Guess how much I made today while traveling and sending a few texts by cell?  $2,300!  Umm yeh. Falalalalalala I’m COOL!  $1,500 from oliver twisted who now owes Me another $800 for being a day late with his payment.  Pay up, oliver!  Call in the afternoon tomorrow and maybe you can hear one or both of My sisters laugh at you and you can send them a tribute too for giggling.  louZer sent $300 today too. 🙂  louZer was trying to get better, but that didn’t work out so good for him.  mrobot sent $400 and has already started his lonely Christmas yanking and beeping.   What I like about mrobot is that he INSTANTLY comes to Me the minute I summon him.  I wont talk to him for some time and then think to Myself, “I bet he’s been paid” then I’ll post a entry to him here or send him a solitary message and MY robot toy is ACTIVATED and his little gears start turning and while making a barrage of R2D2 noises, My little roboslave is animated and immediately comes to serve hours if not minutes later!  Oh and ali mcfucker sent $100.  This is Me being super excited about his puny donation.       ..   Now I’m done.

My Christmas goal is to get Mom drunk, I’ve never seen Her tipsy before. She thinks She’s being pretty bad ass by drinking some Mike’s lemonade.

fagarina you BETTER have gotten your holiday outfit together!!

*****
Yeh, I’m gonna be traveling for a few days for Christmas.  I’ll have My cell on and MY messengers forwarded to MY cell phone.  Send HollyJolly donations and perhaps I will answer your I.M..when I get around to it!   Remember all gift certificates you fucks collect as Christmas prezzies are MINE!  Return all gifts for refunds and send Me the cash!  you deserve jack shit and I DESERVE EVERYTHING!!! Now send Me some Holiday cash, silly santa slaves!!

the unroyal fool is sending $1300 cash snailmail from Australia,  $500 from vintage furfreak, $200 from louZer, $300 from yona, $50 from broken lamb and $200 from Princess fan.

mrobot I think it’s time for you to send another $400.  Haven’t you been paid yet? I wrote your robot Christmas program.  you will be staying home both Christmas eve and Christmas day by yourself jerking your robo-prick for 2 minutes every 30 minutes from the time you wake up until you go to sleep. Every stroke you will say “beep”.  you will not cum. 

K gotta get to bed early tonight. 

$500 from the arabian.  Can you believe it?  An arabian freak who can’t even tie a turban!

Update: Few cute goodies from hairlip  Diamond Star Ring, these super awesome earrings,  this little diamond pendent necklace,  and these big sparkly star earrings. he also sent $200 but I won’t be surprised if he doesn’t beg to send another $200 before the day is through! hahahaha!  UPDATE: he sent another $200 minutes after reading this entry!  So $400 today and all his sparkly prezzies! 🙂

twinkie bought 2 of MY favorite $30 mascaras and 2 lipglosses for Me.

Oooh it’s time for fagarina’s Christmas sissy video special. he’s been a reindeer, an elf, fucked a real snowman and a few other yuletide christmas travesties in the past years.  Anybody have any creative ideas for this year’s freaky faga-festivities??  Before you start feeling sorry for yourself, fagarina..be glad that you aren’t the unroyal fool! he had to suck a twitchy, drooling, mentally retarded guy this weekend we affectionately call “rainman”.  And you think you have it hard! HAHAHA  unroyal fool’s cockloving lips: My generous holiday contribution to the handicapped and mentally challenged.  “Derrrrrrr..Merry Fucking Christmas!”

 old guy george sent Me $1,500 this morning!    Hurray!!  $400 from sissy tommikins,  $100 from david, $50 and a pair of Timberland boots  from sissyboi, $200 from a dork from canada I call lovesmytoots,  $200 cash from fagarina plus $150 BP gas card.

Oops shows on I wanna watch! I’ll update in a few!

Here’s a shot from the dinner/cocktail party we all went to Saturday.

Yo whassup, bitches?  I’ve been busy planning MY christmas holiday and getting everything booked.  This year Im spending it with family and I’ll be away from 12/23 – 12/27.  Of course I’ll have MY laptop and cell phone. Speaking of, I have been forwarding MY Yahoo and Aim to MY cell.  I will probably reply to worthwhile messages that forward there.

Can’t really keep track of all the damage I’ve done this week, but here’s how today has gone.  russell the baboon has come out of hiding and sent another $300 today.  $50 from french poodle, $300 from a carl, $700 from the ukranian, $200 from stewey, twinkie has bought some bluetooth headsets from My amazon wishlist and some passing guy got Me a leather skirt.  stewey I think you need to just bite the bullet and send more than you can afford today!  Just fucking suck it up! you and your family can just SUFFER this month by having less so I can have MORE MORE MORE!  chewtoy, never fear. your Boss Princess of the Universe has had you on Her mind today!  I’ve been picking out the longest dildo I can find for you.  Bend over and take it like a man!   Congrats chewy, you are now the freak de jour! I won’t tell what you did in your granny’s bedroom, if you don’t tell!  heehee  Oh and if you friggin stick that dick in your wife this weekend, you are totally going marinate it in donkey sauce after!  Get My drift, little man??  you know what??? That goes for the rest of you pervs, too!!  NONE of you are allowed to bore your wives with your weeniers anymore UNLESS you pay ME a copulation fee.  The entire idea of you copulating disturbs and nauseates ME.  There will be $200  breeders’ fee for those of you who feel the need to bump nasties with your unfortunate wives.  I reserve the right to refuse certain subs the priviledge of fornicating with their wives, regardless if they pay the copulation fee.    Of course, you won’t find out this out until you have paid the fee..because..errr..um I also reserve the right to SCREW you OVER  HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! 

So have any of you guys wives had this done?  HerOption or NovaSure?   How did it go and how did she feel right after?  My doctor recommended it and I’m thinking about getting it done.  I kinda want to know what to expect if I go through with it.  Hmmm..I don’t think I can deal with having a watery discharge for 6 freaking weeks! 

Someone get these wedge boots.

randy mersch is a fucking riot.  Ok I got $400 out of him last night and you know how he has all these quirky addictions to hearing Me say and repeat certain words..such as saying “randy” like 50 times in a row, flushing a toilet in his ear, hissing the word “suicccccccciiiiiiiiiiiiide”,  talking in a “demon voice” or saying the words, “randy, snort coke”, “randy, it’s time to part-ay” or  his personal favorite, the word “booger.”   Last night he asks if he can talk to My booger on the phone. hahaha! So I laugh in his face and say let ME see if she’s in and yell for “Sugah Bug-aaaaah.”  So I talk in this overwraught Julia Sugarbaker southern accent to randy for like 30 minutes as he tells Me how much he loves Me and proposes marriage to Princess’ own little booger, Sugah Boogah.    The funniest part is, he is fucking breathing sooo hard and saying how HOT the conversation is making him!   WTF!?!?! HAHAHAHA!  Oh man, sometimes I get such a kick out of “the crazies.”   I’m totally going to have an entire chapter in My book about good ol’ humpbacked randy.

Our trip to the cabin, was waaaaaaaay fun. Us girls had a BLAST!!  We have to get a bigger cabin sometime this winter and have even more girls there for a weekend.  It really was fun!

It’s that time of the month again. Plug those assholes, boys!

I see another $100 from hairlip and $500 from terrance.  fatmac got MY girlfriend another pair of boots!  

Oh DropDeadRed played a mean trick on tittyboy!! She told him she mailed a cd with all of tittyboy’s greatest hits to his work.  She sent a cd to his work and he about pissed his pants!  Luckily for him it was just a work-out CD! hahahaha way to give “jugs” a heart attack!  HAHAHA!

Well, well.  russell the baboon has come out of the woodwork and sent $300.  he claims to have acquired a fatal skin disease.   If it’s true,  I’m sure it’s directly related to the fact that he has been hiding from his maker so long.  Really and truly My little minions, it is DANGEROUS to try to quit Me. Please do not try this at home!  BAD THINGS HAPPEN to guys who try to leave.  Lives just fall apart.  People die!  Pissing Me off is like inviting voodoo needles to pierce your existence.  It’s BAD MOJO, bitches!  This isn’t random, people.  you’ve been warned!!  So anyway, I took his $300 and watched him do coke on his cam.  he looked like total shit!  I feel like such a kind hospice volunteer. 

louzer sent $200, and a new french canadian slave I’ve named zit sent $300 and $300 from drunk tom.

Tomorrow we are taking off for our fun little cabin retreat. I’ll have the cell but won’t be on the computer until late sunday.  Be brave MY little slaves!