UPDATE: Woohoo. This is the week of big spenders! I just got $800 from this frenchy slut guy. I think he used to call himself frenchtoserve.
Omg I had the weirdest dream I just woke up from. Yeah yeah and it’s 1.30 in the afternoon. Now I really don’t have too many dreams involving you freaks. Oddly enough, I dream of a.k.a. uncle pigfucker right before he contacts ME. It’s so FUCKING weird. I’ll have some wacked up dream of Me doing awful things to him and he pops up like a day after after hiding out for a couple months. I’ve even had these dreams set in victorian times and shit and it always involve Me coming up with some new and evil way to trick him, exhort money from him or get his ass in a sling. When I have one of these dreams, I know that he will soon be coming out of his hidey hole and sure enough he always does! Now I’m not or really believe in any of those mystical arts but it’s pretty fucking weird how every time I have a dream of “you know who”, he shows his face. I have always been obsessed with fucking with this particular individual and it goes beyond money. I somehow feel I was predestined to disrupt this man’s life for eternity. hahahahaha he was born to suffer for ME! Well last night I had a dream of easy scott of all people!! This dream was fucking wacky. Parts of it make no sense. I’m gonna tell it now while I can remember the details, because they are already fading. So for some reason I decide that easy scott will be at watching this outdoor parade cuz his kids will be performing at it and I think it will be a good place to kidnap him. I’m wearing this short little flouncy skirt and these funky heels with kinda that wood/cork look to them. I see him before the parade start but he doesn’t see Me yet. So I decide to walk across the street because he(and everyone else for that matter) will notice Me. Out of the corner of MY eye I see his jaw drop. I figure he thinks whoever I am looks a hella like Princess Sierra but he really doesn’t think its ME. easy can’t fucking resist wanting another look at My long legs and I must admit they looked friggin heavenly and were all slightly tanned and shimmering. (yeah I must be dreaming cuz I’m friggin sooo white right now) Although I’m strutting across the street and making My way through the people on the other side, I also know that he has just lied to his wife and said he would get them snow cones, so he can follow ME. hahaha So anyway, I hide behind a little wooden building that looks like a forest service building or something. I have a man’s tie in My purse and take it out. easy walks by looking to follow the beautiful brunette with the long legs and I wrap the necktie around his neck and haul him into the little lincoln-log looking building. So I can hear him breathing really heavy and the marching band starts playing and I’m surprised that he’s as tall as I am (most men are shorter) but he’s whimpering like a puppy saying “oooooh Princess..oh Princess.” I’m hissing in his ear that he’s been eluding ME for a long time and has been trying to keep control of his life for too many years, but that was over now. he starts crying like a baby. Now all the sudden I find Myself pushing easy through some bushes and into some church. Some how I know this is the church they go to. (his wife is a religious nut and drags him to church all the time.) (Oh froggy, you might want to stop reading this story now, cuz this is going to get you all upset) hahahaha
So anyway, I decide that I want to go swimming in the baptism font, which really is more of a giant whirlpool. he is saying no no I can’t do that, service will be starting soon but I go behind a curtain and change in MY little bikini and easy is sprung and changes his mind. So I get in and am like coaxing him to join Me and pretending to be nice and he strips to his boxers and gets in with his knees all knocking. So I’m like cooing “come here scotty, come closer” and he is moving to Me like some fucking zombie and I snatch him and start holding him under water. I hold him there a long time and he is bucking like a bronco cuz I nearly drown him and I make him agree to sign some papers. Divorce papers and loan papers and life insurance policies and shit (which mysteriously don’t get wet). Then I wind up getting him all dressed up in this frilly little pink two piece and this terrible little swimming cap with flowers all over it and a dog collar and chain. We’re playing this game where I am holding him under water with MY feet and I won’t let him breathe until he kisses MY knee under water which means he agrees to whatever demand I made before dunking him. So he’s promising away all his kids college tuition and to sign over his property to ME ect..when the door opens and his wife and a number of church guys pop in. I’m sitting on the edge of baptism font/cold jacuzzi thingie and am startled when they come in and lose MY grip on easy who pops up in the air like a seal doing a trick all dressed in his ridiculous pink swimming gear. his wife starts sniveling and crying a bunch of stuff out and I stand up in MY little bikini and kinda straighten the butt out.you know rearrange it, so MY cheeks don’t show and everyone is so stunned by MY tall gorgeous bod that they all just sorta shut up including her. SO I slide into a pair of jeans with My bikini top. (Where did those jeans come from?) Take easy’s leash and say “come now scotty-poo” and go to his wife and tell her that he is MY slave and has been for some time and that she should find herself a new husband but before she marries one she should really check his internet history. She really doesn’t say anything cuz she seems to be too mesmerized by My bustline. I say “no hard feelings right, it’s not like he’s that big a catch anyway” and kick him in the butt. I lead him out the door on his knees. The scene shifts to where I am in scotty’s house making him pack his bags then I woke up.
There was also something about some Jamaican girls walking in trying to sell something and other odd ends to the dream that I left out cuz they sorta made no sense.
Well scotty, don’t be too flattered that you showed up in MY dream. That isn’t good news for you. hahhahaha
