heeheee Pooor widdle humpback randy mersche! I got him SOOOo drunk on the phone. he paid Me $600 and begged for a real long call. (Several hours) SOoo of course, MY main goal of the the phone call was to get him so drunk he either paid more or PASSED out! Mission accomplished! We were chatting away and he started getting talking all goofy and incoherently then BANG he was out! Woohoo! So I hung up and since he didn’t call back in few minutes after made a mad dash out of the door to enjoy a few hours out with My girlfriend. Of course the phone was ringing the minute I walked through the door. I told him to call after dinner, but then we watched a movie..and well..I guess RANDY GOT SCREWED out of LONG call he prepaid for. heeeeeheeee SUCKS to be a SUCKA, doesn’t it you alcoholic freak!

I think I forgot to mention another $100 I got out of the new guy who gave ME $500 yesterday. Here’s his pic.
Very everybody hates raymond.

father flatulance came around and made a $500 donation. I was making him wear his robe and lift it up and pee at holy paintings on the wall on his webcam. OMG! Perverting a catholic priest and a orthadox jew in the same week! I ROCK!

Oh and be sure to check out vaseline freak’s NEW MY SPACE.

ATTN: SOMEONE’s WIFE IS HOT ON THEIR TRAIL!! She called again! If you have a 509 area code, your wife is bugging me like crazy and asking what this number is for. She said I keep showing up on the phone bill. I have no idea who it is and I keep playing nice and saying I am a web marketing company. She’s sounds like she is really old and eats fruit cake!

I just got a brand new guy. I made him pay $400 in the first five minutes or so. he’s pretty funny. I’m getting him all drunk and he starts begging to have a frozen pizza cuz he’s starving. I told him while he was on MY time he had to pay for his snack. So his little frozen pizza cost him $100. We are putting precum, dust from his refrigerator and anything nasty I can find to add as a topping to it. So $500 from this newbie! Wonder if I’ll get more!? teehee

Then sissy jason came back and gave up $300. he sat on the phone and moaned about feeling “so dirty.” It was a very short phonecall cuz he bored the BJesus out of Me.

So we got vaseline freak all set up with a brand new checking account. I now have the passwords to his checking account and I can see every penny that comes and goes from that account! Deeper and deeper he goes. Where he ends up nobody knows! BUT ME! Oh and don’t forget to give him a call on his new KEEN line! Only 75cents a minute! After keen takes their huge cut..how much will he be earning ME? hahaha Well.not much ..but it is entertaining! http://www.keen.com/pukepiggy4sale

fatmac bought Me 2 lightweight jackets for the summer. I needed a trench type coat for MY trips I have been taking. twinkie also bought Me the trash disposal off MY amazon wishlist because My old one just mysteriously died. Today is MY first day back on the Zone diet. yippy dingdong.

More news later! Gotta run

turdmuncher strikes again!

turdmuncher got MY sister a washer, dryer and dishwasher off Her amazon wishlist and also a headboard for VTG!! Pictures of the items will be posted as they arrive.
fatmac sent VTG $250 cash, as well as bought her 2 pairs of heels, some red pants, twill pants, army pants, army jacket, black jacket, a pink shirt, a black tank, an army tank, a pink tank, a brown and pink dress and 3 pairs of sunglasses! Total: $600+! Holy shit, fatty! you are on a roll you rolypoly sucker!! msub sent $100, $500 from amsterdam ham. I took the last $150 off vaseline freak’s Dilliard card and he still has $250 I’ll be taking off his Bloomingdale’s tomorrow.

Damned I’ve gotten a rush of new meat! It’s like I constantly get fresh recruits coming in to relieve all the broke and decrepit amputees and sideshow veterans. Not relieve permanently or anything but keeping ME so occupied kicking MY new troops’ asses that MY long-time devotees get a little breather time to pay down their credit cards, refill their canteens and come back for another round!!! HAHA I picture all MY veterans hopping around on their stubs and crutches with “PAY PRINCESS!” and “SIERRA IS GOD” pins on their dingy vests, all suffering from post traumatic syndrome and swigging from paper bags. My little army of fools!! doo-doo-dooo-doooo!! CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE those cards!
hahahahahahhahaha!

UPDATE: 2 a.m. on wednesday
Just got $1,000 donation from paulo. he used to pay ME years ago and disappeared. Woohoo!!

I just got $400 from a joe from FL who I think I never named before although he’s paid on more than several occasions. I have now named him slave2MYcurls cuz he has a fetish for MY hair. uncle pigfucker sent ME $500 but ran off before I could stiff him for more. Damned it! slutty suzy sent VTG $200, the sinking frenchy wired $1,000. I should be receiving it shortly and will report when it officially shows up in MY checking account. That despicable freak, the pervert postman sent $200. fatty bought  several pairs of shoes, a bathing suit and some hair product. I also sent him to a beauty supply stuff to pick Me up some curly hair product.

Looks like I’ll be taking that trip June 11-14th. Vintage furfreak paid $700 towards it. Of course that’s far from covering it. MORE MORE MORE!

hahaha lesbian gold card was talking to Me on the phone and I was all ranting cuz I fucking gained like 5 lbs over the weekend! How the hell is that possible?! So I told him I wanted to go back on the zone diet for a month cuz I’ve been fucking MY diets up so bad and he ran off and bought Me the 28 day menu. HAHA That’s like $1,300. It’s so fucking wasteful. But I want to take that 5 lbs off FAST. So here I go again. Instead of failing MY diet for free.you guys can pay a few grand for MY diet failures. HHAAHAHAHA! Boohoo.

My sister got Her very own new slave which she named loco en la cabeza hahahaha! Oh My, She has been tinkering with his brain and wound up paying her $600 for Her psychotherapy!!

Well Sunday and Monday were absolutely gorgeous. Almost a little too hot! We went on long bike rides both days. Sunday went for about 130miles and around 160 on Monday. Buckeye lake had tons of bikers there. I don’t know why Ohioans are so into that lake. It’s so boring. If you don’t boat there’s nothing to do. No place to lay out. There are a few cool bars there, but we never drink when we ride. Slapped the sunblock on but I still got a little burnt.

I’m so mad. Ok I have TIVO and a guy got Me a lifetime membership. I don’t think they offer them anymore. They updated the tivos with new software and it totally fried My unit! The minute it downloaded it, it was all fucked up. So I have to pay $150 for them to replace the unit. I’m all pissed now. They killed MY tivo! you bastards!! And I gotta pay for it! I also can’t upgrade MY tivo or I will lose MY lifetime membership. BLOWS!

boohoo The size of My amazon wishlist will no longer be a point of pride for ME anymore and dazzle the masses. I discovered that amazon changed it and now you can totally forge fulfilled amazon wishlists. I noticed this when I saw a chick who doesn’t even have pics up and had absolutely no fulfilled items on her list suddenly have 300. I snooped around MY amazon and alas, you can now just type in items you did not receive and throw them in your amazon fulfilled wishlist. For years, you totally couldnt do that. Items could not appear UNLESS they were purchased.
🙁 Oh well, just another way for losers to feign greatness. I’ll be sure to post pics of everything I receive off amazon from now on. How bogus.

Let’s see, msub who I have renamed the devotee paid $200 today. he’s new and Im just figuring out his wee little brain. MY is so fucking funny and pathetic. he says such silly shit on the phone and keeps Me laughing at his tragic little existence. he paid $650 today!! he’s SOOO FUCKING OBSESSED with ME already, it’s not even funny! Well, yah.it is funny. So anyway, I got all of pigglywiggly’s paycheck and he’s gonna be sooo poor this week! I asked him why he always sounds like he has something in his mouth when he’s talking and today he admitted he did have something in his mouth..his THUMB!? he sucks his thumb while talking to ME! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA ?? huh??!?
Whatevah! My thumbsucking jew freak has been paying like a good little boy.

Let’s see. I had twinkie buy Me 4 more of MY favorite eyebrow sharpeners. heehee

a.k.a vaselinefreak is turning out to be quite a bundle of fun. Knowing that he has a history of being a slutpuppy who jumps around from Mistress to Mistress, I decided it was the utmost importance to get ALL of his information and make sure he has NO OTHER OPTIONS BUT SERVING ME. Oh I got some GOOOOOOOD SHIT on this bastard! his work website with all his colleagues’ emails available to Me, videos of him confessing to extreme devious behavior and a clip of him saying he no longer wants to be married to his wife and has chosen a life of vaseline addiction and Princess worship instead. AND PICTURES PICTURES PICTURES! Nice, crystal clear full face digital shots..no blurry cropped webcam pics of this freakpie! If this guy wants out..he can’t get out!! Cuz he’s trapped like a fucking rat in a cage. For real, he no longer has the OPTION of being “normal.” I made sure of that!! *****EVIL WITCH LAUGHTER***** Oh and you better get that $300 sent to Me via the mail BY MONDAY, bitch!!

Today was kinda boring. I chatted with freaks, everyone was very eager to talk to ME. I worked out, girlfriend had a meeting and was gone all night so I stayed home and decided to make MYself a healthy lowfat chicken, blackbean, cumin and cilantro dish. Well as I was spicing up MY meal, the lid of MY cayenne pepper popped off and like 4 tablespoons fell into MY meal. Even I couldn’t eat it, it was so hot. So I ordered a pizza and ate half of it and am now feeling a tad guilty for being such a glutton. But hey! I start over monday, right!?

I have another trip coming up next month. I haven’t made solid plans but I’m thinking it’s going to be the second or third week of june. Who’s paying?? I’ll let you know when I find out exact dates.

My hair turned out great and the softening process is so nice. My hair feels so soft! Every little curl has its end trimmed to perfection. This salon is strictly for curly hair and is one of the finest in the country. People friggin fly from europe to go here. I’ve never seen so many curly haired women in My life. It was kind of strange seeing women with hair ALMOST as big as Mine..well almost..but not quite. HA! There was some seriously gorgeous hair in that place.

The airport security decided to search MY suitcase because they xray’ed MY bag and noticed I had an eyeliner sharpener in it. They confiscated MY favorite eyeliner sharpener! Grrrr. Like I’m gonna cut someone’s artery with that itty bitty little pencil sharpener blade. Even Kindergartners get to carry them! I really liked that fuckin’ sharpener. It had perfect sized holes for both MY eye brightener and MY eyeliners. Never broke My pencils either. I’m gonna fume about this for days! I better be able to find one on amazon JUST like it. I miss it already. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I might be a Terrorist, but a girl’s gotta sharpen Her eye Kohl!
I’ve noticed something very strange. All orthadox jew guys look alike! They all look exactly like jewishpiggy! I never see jews with funny hats and beanies and beards at home. They are everywhere here and all have wonky teeth and are fat and short just like pigglywiggly! I saw a few of them bobbing and weaving in the airport and started laughing thinking about MY badjew drinking pee with his prayerbox tied around his prick eating cheese and ham rolls for Princess. hahahaha

I had extra spicy green curry for lunch and plan on getting some Pad-Thai or Drunken Noodle for dinner. God!! Thai food is SO good in NY and SO bad in Ohio. I fucking like it so hot it makes your nose run, face sweat and keeps you up farting all night! I love to eat stuff that hurts Me. As The Ultimate Dominant bitch I gotta admit, I am culinarily masochistic. I fucking love the hottest wings on the menu, smothering things in jalepenos and MY mothers screeching hot pork chili verde. This stuff used to be insane. you would eat it and your face would get bright red and you would literally drip sweat and shit fire. I’m telling you it was fucking SO HOT. Before you sit down to a bowl of Mama’s chili verde, you got to put your hair up in a ponytail, grab yourself a snot rag and brace yourself. Oh well, I loves ME some spicy food!

Fuck I messed up MY gym schedule and food goals with this trip. I was on a roll, too. Fuck. Well back to it next starting monday. Princess’s diet plan FOILED again. I am going to add some protein shakes to my amazon wishlist.

Update: OMG I have just witnessed THE FUNNIEST THING! divorcee in drag! HAHAHA I laughed sooo hard. I froze all kinds of pics and am just waiting for him to screw up so I have an excuse to post them! he had on this massive curly wig and these slutty shoes that wrap up the leg. his features are so hard and germanic looking that it only added to the comedy of his attire. he looked liked one of the bar wenches on Hagar The Horrible..cept in his case it would be Harald the Horrible.

Update: turdmuncher came out and bought VTG a little house stereo system and a barbque pit off Her amazon wishlist and My other sister a vanity thingie. For some reason it didn’t come off her purchase list though. Oh well. So he bought a few things and said he would be back! he swears that next week will be another binger! Cross your fingers! We will be greedily perusing amazon in the mean time!

Today was beautiful. Unfortunately I wasted a lot of it because I woke up around 2 p.m.! After My hair dried I went out for a nice ride. About 75 miles. It was so pretty out and not a cloud in the sky. We drove all over town then took off to the Amish country. It’s funny cuz those amish people stare so much. It was just a really nice ride and my hair looked so awesome from riding. Before I put it in a ponytail, but last few times I have just been putting extra curl keeper in it so the curls are a tiny bit stiffer wearing a thin headband and letting it hang WILD. When I ride around the curls kinda get stretched out of it and it looks SOOOOO long with rocker 80’s waves in it and it’s HUGE!!! I got the best bike hair ever. OMG I came so fucking close to hitting a flying canadian goose today! Anyway, I always feel so refreshed after a ride.

Got home around 8:30 and randy mersch the humpback freak was ringing for Me. he has gotten so addicted. he calls practically every weekend now! he paid $350. latexlover is still drooling over those last photos and sent ANOTHER $500 today! yay!  $100 from that sicko postman freak  and VTG got $200 from slutty suzy.

I fly out Tuesday afternoon, so you better call me Monday before I go. I’m not meeting guys for session. I’m in and out. Get My hair done, hit some stores, Thai food 3 times a day, then Im back home thursday night. I’ll have MY Sidekick keeping Me company during travel time and will have internet in the evenings. I don’t plan on doing any partying during MY hair vacation.